Craft No. 8: The Honey Do List

Just because trophy wives know how to work power tools doesn’t mean we want to spend our Saturday afternoons actually using them. That’s why God invented “Honey Do” lists and the Honeys to do them – so your average, unemployed trophy wife could spend her weekends covering more productive tasks. Like husband management and project direction. At least that's how the Carlton Clan spent this past Saturday.

Drill, baby, drill!

Not to sound bossy/overbearing/needy, but I do have a bit - pun intended - of an ongoing list of household chores that require either Bert's tools, muscles, height, or a combination of the three (aka "the trifecta of manliness" <3). They are not emergencies, per se. They are things that can be done whenever, as long as they're done eventually. But yesterday, well, Mr. C went all crazy and completed FIVE tasks in one fell swoop. So it seemed only proper to showcase our deluge of home improvement in its own post. The first order of business? Under cabinet lighting.

To be honest with you, I was a little surprised when Bert chose this project first. Our kitchen has two overhead fluorescent lights, but one of them only works about 25% of the time. (The landlord knows about it, but judging by the four months that have passed since we pointed it out to him, we're not getting a new fixture anytime soon.) So half of our kitchen is usually kind of dark. It hasn't been a big deal yet since we've only lived here since the spring, but I've been dreading trying to work in there all winter. So I scribbled "under cabinet lighting" onto the Honey Do list, thinking maybe I could get some rope lights or something tacked up at some point.

Lesson Learned: Never Underestimate Your Husband. Bert decided to sacrifice his college light table to the cause and showed up to the job with two, mini, fluorescent fixtures I didn't even know we had. (Unfortunately, in the process of getting the fixtures out of our basement, he discovered the table's wood casing had already been sacrificed to the ridiculous moisture downstairs. R.I.P., LightmasterVT. Your light shall shine on.)

After ditching the moldy light table, we ran into some more trouble. When Bert tried to hook up the first fixture, he discovered it was about 1/4" too long to fit under one section of our cabinets:

Anyone have a Dremel we can borrow? ;)

So that left us room for just one fixture, directly over the sink:

No complaints here! I will take what I can get!

It was pretty simple from there on out. I marked the spots for the screws, Bert drilled some holes, and viola!

The light plugs into one of our two counter outlets - see the black cord? - which, while not ideal, will probably work out just fine. I've only ever used one of three appliances (coffee maker, coffee grinder, hand mixer) on that counter, and I can't say I've ever needed to use two at once. Another perk: our dishes will probably be about 150% cleaner now that I can actually see what I'm washing. ;) A definite improvement all around! On to the next task!

See that cabinet Bert's holding? Yeah, well, believe it or not, but it's about to fall off. Our lower cabinets are made of lovely laminated particleboard (c. early 80s) and have not aged nearly as well as yours truly. This door in particular - another pun intended - has been drenched by years of faucet leaks and is slowly rotting from the ground up. The laminate keeps the rotten part of the door intact on the exterior, but the interior is not so lucky. Due to the rot, the bottom hinge had almost completely pulled out. I assumed the door was done for and that I'd have to buy a tension rod, make yet another curtain, and relocate the cleaning supplies under the sink to a more secure location. (Nora is fascinated by the cabinet under the sink. That's all I need: my cat drinking Clorox. No one will ever let us have children.) But then! Enter the husband:

Bert completely removed the lower hinge, moved it up an inch or so, screwed it back in, and I miraculously had my door back! Pretty? No. But it wasn't pretty to start with. And it works! And I don't have to make a curtain for it! So I'm a happy camper.

Bert's other projects - hanging curtain rods, pulling out the stove so I could clean behind it, and emptying the last few boxes from our move - were a little less exciting, but I am so glad that they are done! (And I think Bert is too. ;) Thanks, babe. You did a great job.

Anyone else work on those "Honey Do" lists this weekend?