Culture No. 13

Today, I will present you with the facts. (As opposed to a usual day, when I tend to slip in an opinion or two.) The facts speak for themselves and I hope you listen, learn, and avoid repeating my mistake. Let's begin...

***Exhibit A***

A shredder. Bert’s shredder, to be precise. (My shredder still retains its Connecticut residency.) Handy for destroying old bills, junk mail, and other odd bits of incriminating evidence. Black. Dusty. Uses sharp teeth to grind paper, plastic, and – incidentally – light PVC.

***Exhibit B***

A vintage perpetual calendar I found at a Berkshire barn sale several years ago. Cost me $1. Has remained one of my most favorite tag sale finds, encouraged my husband to propose so he could "have it," and been featured in classic photos like this shot of a slightly-younger and state-quarantined Nora:

Don't let that sweet face fool you. Do you know why cats are quarantined? Because they have rabies!!!

Also, in the interest of full disclosure, please note said calendar's proximity to Bert's shredder:

Note to self: The shredder does not need to be turned "on" when you're not using it.

***Exhibit C***

One of the date cards to said vintage perpetual calendar, post-simultaneous proximity with Bert’s shredder and a well-meaning member of my extended family. Black. White. Shredded.

***Exhibit D***

A vintage Formosa perpetual calendar, designed by Enzo Mari in 1963 for the Italian company Danese Milano. Considered one of the classic icons of 20^th century designs and can be found in modern museum collections all over the world. New versions of the calendar currently retail for over $250.

And the cards are not sold individually.

***Exhibit E***

:*-(

Me. Today. Post-unhelpful eBay search.

The verdict?

Google tag sale finds when you find them, not after you destroy them. Also, don't put valuable antiques above your shredder. That's just asking for trouble.

Case closed.