Culture No. 5

It is a well-known fact in the Carlton family that I am a staunch believer in the theory that Northeastern Pennsylvania is caught in a time warp that leaves it drifting aimlessly somewhere around 1951. This is mostly due to that fact that, since moving here, I have witnessed/caused several archaically sexist incidences that gave even my post-fem besties cause for rant and rage. Now, I – of all people – am always up for a good rant, but today I am instead going to focus on the bright side of living in the mid-20^th century. (Besides the fantastic pickings at Salvation Army, of course.) What good can come from a society that has yet to land on the moon or discover ethnic food outside of the Italian/Polish persuasion, you ask? Let me tell you.

They have amazingly awesome, retro fabulous supermarkets. (And Polish delis. Is there anything better than fresh pirogis? Sorry Mrs. T. You don’t stand a chance.)

On any given week, you can find me in Price Chopper, Weis, or my new favorite, Redner’s. (Sorry Weggy’s. I covet your hipness, but you’re kind of a budget buster. And the “price your own veggies” thing stresses me out.) Every time I step into a supermarket here, I feel like I am walking backwards through time. It’s not an obvious thing. They are all modern in every sense of the word. (Except for Aldi’s, of course, which seems to be outside of the space-time continuum altogether.) Maybe it’s the little paper hats the Weis deli ladies wear. Or the fact that Redner’s carries a brand of juice I have not seen since the second grade. (Sipps, anyone? They don’t even seem to have a website I can link to…)

But overall, I think it’s the smell. Every grocery store in NEPA smells like Beechwood, that little market in Huntington where Mama V. had her start as a price-punching, grocery-slinging cashier. It is the smell of a time before the invention of the UPC. Or Title IX. Or coed Polytechnics that give women unfortunate things like degrees.

I digress. Now I am just being snarky for fun.

But for reals, the grocery stores here seem much less corporate and much more cozy than ones I’ve shopped at in the past. Grocery shopping is fun, and not just because I get an “Extreme Couponing”-type thrill every time I check out. In fact, I don’t even miss the hand scanners at Stop & Shop anymore! Who needs 'em? That's what slide rules are for.